Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
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She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
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I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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