No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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