Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
