you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
