i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
