Where did you get a picture of my penis
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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