I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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