Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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