Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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