end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
