I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
