p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
