Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize