a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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