Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
