In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
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it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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