have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
