god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
