new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
