I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
