he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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