why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
