we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
