It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
