I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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