I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize