I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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