I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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