Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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