Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
