So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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