I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
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I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
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OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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