i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
