Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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