There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.â€
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
