Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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