I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
