why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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