We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
