just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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