She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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