:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
