You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
