Who did Billy Mays play for?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
