wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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