The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
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