it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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