respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
