Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She announced her abortion via fbk
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
