I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
