Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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