I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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