please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
