I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
