I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
