Yo dont text me then not text me
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
